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Reasons to Hate: Alabama

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Are you feeling sorry for Bama? Of course not. It's time to hate.

This could be the Tide with a 110 point lead.  Still sad.
This could be the Tide with a 110 point lead. Still sad.
Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Alabama.  The Crimson Tide. Nick Saban. Hate.  All of these words go together like peas and carrots.  Alabama has as many SEC West wins as the Hogs so far this season, and while the Tide might seem a little weaker than they have in the past, it's no reason to hate them any less.  There was a time in the Shula past, where your hate gave way to a little pity, but I'm pretty sure no one feels bad for Saban or Alabama this or any week.  It's always a good time to hate Alabama, but this week is really the best.  Let's go!

Reasons to Hate

1. 104-0. Alabama has a 7-0 streak going against the Hogs.  To add insult to injury, Alabama has posted identical 52-0 scores against the Hogs over the last two years. The first coming immediately following [game that shall not be named] and the second coming immediately after a 52-7 loss to South Carolina.  Alabama came to Fayetteville in 2012 and said "Oh wow.  You guys are just really sad and depressed, and I'm going to kick you even harder" and they did.  We couldn't stop them.  In 2013, Arkansas traveled to Alabama to get kicked just as hard as the previous year. I believe this season Alabama may be the team that is already a little beat up.  A little down.  And while Ole Miss did plenty of kicking on Saturday, Arkansas is ready for some metaphorical kicking in the payback department.

2. 1964. Okay, so we've written about this before. BUT, it doesn't change the fact that Alabama is going to keep on claiming it with no asterisks or anything.  1964 was the year when after the dust cleared at the end of the regular season, Alabama's 10-0-0 record was deemed better by the AP Poll than a 10-0-0 record also held by the Razorbacks.  Alabama went on to lose to Texas in the Orange Bowl, while the Hogs beat Nebraska in the Cotton Bowl.  But since the AP Poll at the time did not revise its poll after the bowls, the Tide still claim the 1964 championship. Coincidentally, that travesty was the trigger that caused the AP to revise its policy and they have released their final poll after the bowls ever since. In a cruel bit of irony, Arkansas went undefeated in the regular season the following year in 1965, but lost to LSU in the Cotton Bowl and could not claim the 1965 title.

3. Statues. Okay, so we have a statue (Frank Broyles and his fist pump after the Hogs beat Nebraska in the 1964 Cotton Bowl Classic), but I think it's less about "Every coach football coach who wins a National Championship gets a statue" like at Alabama, and more like "Oh yeah Frank is a legend and we built him his statue 48 years after he won a National Championship, not while he was still coaching".  Alabama has actually come under some scrutiny recently as they have 8 coaches with National Championships (not all football) and only 5 statues (all football coaches).  Where's the love for the Women's Gymnastics National Championship? Sarah Patterson has as many National Titles as The Bear, and she gets a plaza named after her?   Do your own fans hate your statues now?

4. SEC Losing Streaks. While you may think Alabama doesn't know anything about SEC losing streaks, you might find out you have some things still to learn.  Under Nick Saban, Alabama's longest SEC losing streak is 3 games at the end of the 2007 season.  They broke that streak in the 2008 season with (you guessed it) a win against Arkansas.

5. Celebrations Near Saban. This guy has no mirth.  Besides one funny crack about him not being in his wife's wildest dreams (I can imagine he's probably not), I've never seen this guy have any happiness.  In fact this Ole Miss fan found out just how much fun it is to celebrate around Saban.  Oh, and if you're one of his players and you want to give him a Gatorade bath, it just seems wasted... Dude is angry just after he gets showered.  If the Hogs win on Saturday, just do the Saban, grimace, and pretend you're a 62 year old that gets to coach football for a living, but acts like he's in line at the DMV every second of it. Saban is the worst.

6. Forrest Gump. I cannot walk by a TV, continue flipping channels, or pay attention to anything my wife says if Forrest Gump is on.  Usually, I catch it during that awkward scene where Forrest finds out that "I see dead people" is his son, or maybe during some of the more entertaining lieutenant Dan scenes, but occasionally I watch it from the beginning, and I always forget that we have to see our beloved Forrest running the ball for the Alabama Crimson Tide.  You can be all over the SEC Network, every call on the Finebaum show can be about you, but please just stay out of my movies! Is that too much to ask Alabama?

7. Respect. Alabama doesn't seem overlooking us and that's unfortunate.  Ummm, we're the underdog here.  We're little unranked Arkansas that hasn't won an SEC game since 2012.  Go ahead and overlook us and focus on Texas A&M next week, they've got complicated receiving routes and a quarterback with a semi-cool nickname.  We're just gonna run it straight at you, and that's what you're supposed to be good at.  I mean, I know you haven't faced a good rushing team this year, but still, I hate it when you focus really hard on beating us and fixing your mistakes from last week.

8. Last Week. In case you haven't heard, Alabama lost last week.  After one game, national pundits are calling the dynasty over.  The SEC West runs through Mississippi, and no one cares anymore about Alabama at Arkansas.  Sure we've got that sweet prime time game, and SEC Nation is in town, but we wanted #1 ranked Alabama that just survived a scare.  Not #7 Alabama that got it's bell rung and has a chip on it's shoulder.  The Tide are 0-3 in their last three games against ranked teams and 4-3 in their last 7 games.  These things either spell a big turnaround win or a total program downfall. While I'm normally all about hate, I would LOVE total program downfall.. which Alabama fans would hate.