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Matt Lauer Can Get Out of My Face With This Hog Call

Thanks for trying though Matt Lauer

A proper Hog Call.
A proper Hog Call.
Beth Hall-USA TODAY Sports

So I guess Matt Lauer decided to start calling the Hogs this morning and absolutely no one knows why.  Seriously, this hog call is like stonehenge.  I can see it - I know its there - but I'll be damned if anyone can tell me how or why it happened.  Regardless, here is the attempt of calling the hogs.

First things first.  Matt Lauer sits uncomfortably. There is no argument or debate to take place about this simple fact. He sits with his legs unnaturally crossed.  Now this could go one of two ways, either Matt Lauer is self aware that he sits in this certain fashion and he is doing it to mess with me - in which case I am forced to respect it.... OR... He has no idea that he sits like that and he's just that guy. We all know that guy.

Secondly, who is that teaching him? Who is that? I can think of literally over a thousand people off the top of my head that I'd rather teach the Hog call than that guy. It's awful - he puts in zero enthusiasm what so ever.  It's disrespectful. Bobby Petrino looked more into his first Hog call than this mystery man.

And we also got you a coffee mug.

OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!  Pulling out all the stops for Matt Lauer. The true VIP treatment. This almost makes up for the botched teaching.

Thirdly, stand up Matt.  Just stand up. I understand sitting is easier - I totally get it and will go as far as to say that sitting is one of my favorite things, but people who sit when doing the Hog Call aren't okay. Sitting when you call the Hogs is like littering or being a Yankee fan.  Sure it's easier but at the end of the day it's a garbage move and anyone who does it can't be trusted.

And lastly - this quote from Matt Lauer

That's it? That's all there is?

Is a knockout punch to my face.  I literally fell on the floor after he said that.  I just felt so small, so insignificant .  Matt Lauer managed to take everything I love in this world and crush it using six words.  Absolutely heartbreaking.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I called the Hogs while sitting one time at a bar, but I was at a bar and standing simply wasn't an option, so on the off chance you were at that bar, don't write in calling me a hypocrite.  No one is perfect.