The University of Tennessee at Martin pits Northwest Tennessee against Northwest Arkansas. Arkansas fans didn't have much hate for our last "cupcake" and we all saw how that game turned out. I can't tell you how important it is that you find your hate on Halloween for the Skyhawks.
1. UT Martin. Listen, I know we went over the 1998 Tennessee game already this year, but UT Martin kinda sounds like Tee Martin. I know we got our revenge in 1999, but the school's name is still too similar and too fresh of a reminder for that 1998 game quarterbacked by Tee Martin.
2. Skyhawks. UT Martin's mascot is the Skyhawks. Skyhawks isn't bad but the name "Skyhawks" bugs me in a couple of ways. 1) Every time I type it, I get that little red squiggly line indicating that I might have misspelled something. I'm not OCD, but I usually don't let those sit around in my articles, but I'll be darned if I add "Skyhawks" to my dictionary. 2) Skyhawks is a relatively new mascot, and is hiding the deep dark secret of the Junior Volunteers. (I will no longer use any other name to refer to Saturday's opponent, unless it's "Baby Vols" or "Little Vols") (Note: I was worried this was a wikipedia-only fact, but according to this website, it can be attributed to Bob Carroll's book "The University of Tennessee at Martin: The First One Hundred Years")
3. Captain. So, what's it like when you're one of the leaders of the football team? Do they call you mascot?
"Captain" is the official name of UT Martin's costumed Little Volunteer Mascot. The name "Captain" was selected because it's a gender-neutral name that fits the concept of a mythical hawk that flies a plane.
4. Male to Female Ratio. So, if you're a guy in Fayetteville, AR and you're on Tinder or just out at a bar or coffee shop trying to meet a young lady, you're at a distinct disadvantage, because for every 100.9 males there are 100 females. If you're up to similar activities in Martin, you'll find that the ratios are much more favorable with only 89.9 males for every 100 females. Though you might also have trouble getting up to as many alcohol infused activities due to the limited nature of alcohol sales in Weakley County, Tennessee.
5. Ole Miss Game. The Rebels beat UT-Martin 76-3 in the season opener. Will some people compare scores if Arkansas doesn't score 76 points and hold them to three, drawing silly conclusions? Probably. It's dumb, but it seems like it will happen. Arkansas probably won't score that many points if for no other reason than Bret Bielema's teams go at a much slower pace, so the opportunities might not be there. It's going to be a pain to explain that though. Hate that.
6. Rodeo. I don't follow college Rodeo, but our Mulerider and Boll Weevil friends probably don't care much for the Junior Volunteers. So, if you can't hate them for any of the other reasons I've laid out before, spare a little hate come rodeo season.
7. They look like Auburn. (h/t @BrendanOman)