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Feel The Rhythm: South Carolina - An Open Letter To Bret Bielema

The Bert-Approved Companion To The South Carolina Game

Wesley Hitt

Brought to you this week by Bob Marley, Tito's Vodka, and-- no. Fuck that. That bullshit was UB40 and Heaven Hill. At best. At BEST.

I don't even know what to talk about. I think I'll write a letter.


That game. It really sucked. You got absolutely schooled by The Visor. I mean schooled, Bert. But I'm not giving up on you. I'm going to keep faith.  It's a process. It doesn't change overnight.  Persevere. That's what you've asked of everyone, players and fans.

I do have a few requests of my own, however.  I feel they are pretty reasonable.

If you want your team to have an identity, then by God, establish one. I have no clue what you want to do on offense. You have a team that can run the ball, but I have not seen much of you trying to cultivate that identity. We TALK about it a lot, sure, but I DO NOT SEE IT ON THE FIELD. Your offense is listless. Rudderless. Lost.

If you want to build a team for the future, your young players have to be playing. Your freshman running back and your freshman tight end need carries and snaps and targets. They cannot get much of any of these when your offense runs 37 plays for the entire game. It may be a long term process, Bert, but this is a short-term problem needing an immediate solution. You've got to move the ball at least enough to get these guys the experience they need to be better next year. 37 plays and 16 minutes of possession does not cut it. Ever.

If you are going to tell me the starting quarterback is playing hurt, do not tell me that after he goes 4 of 12 for 30 yards. Do not tell me that with two four-star freshmen quarterbacks redshirting on the sideline and highly rated guys lined up for the next two years. I support Brandon Allen and think he has the ability to succeed, but if he is injured while he is going 4 of 12 and the future is on the sideline redshirting, I am going to have problems with that.

If you are going to preach clean football and smart football, you absolutely cannot have a player incur a personal foul for cheap-shotting the opposing kicker on a kickoff that had absolutely zero chance of getting returned. We are seven weeks in. That's an inexcusable mistake in Week 1. In Week 7, it makes my head explode. Jimmies and Joes and all that, but that is something you can prevent. So please, PLEASE, just fucking prevent it. For my blood pressure if nothing else.

If you are having issues with players academically, then tell us about it at any point except for immediately following a game in which you allowed 52 unanswered points. I don't give a shit that your fifteen minute academic checkup meeting took two hours this week. Do. Not. Care. That is an excuse and a distraction. It's something to talk about instead of why you got your ass handed to you. Don't give me that weak stuff.

Expectations weren't that high for this year, Bert. More than anything, most of us fans wanted to see the team get better and compete throughout the season. You said postgame yesterday that you were looking at a team in the locker room that didn't have any quit in them. I will take you at your word again, but it sure feels like everyone is pretty fragile right now, coaches included.

Honestly, it just feels pretty desperate.

And now you're playing Alabama. This is the SEC. This is the challenge you wanted. Take it head on. Please. Even if we lose by 50 again, do it your way. Because yesterday was some desperate bullshit.

See you next week.

Never Yield,



Trent Wooldridge will be that guy with enough bourbon. He loves the S-E-C chant and honks because he hates Texas. He puts honey on his pizza, demands aisle seats, and sees quitting golf as more of a hobby than actually playing golf. Follow @twooldridge and track his quest to transform his three-year-old into a southpaw ace in the bigs.