Looking Through The Crazy Stuff In eBay's Vintage Razorback Collection

Much of my favorite Razorback gear is actually vintage stuff found in places like second-hand stores, antique shops, and the like. This is because A) I prefer the Razorback leaning against the A and Razorback jumping through the A logos to the current one, and B) I like to not wear the same thing as 500 other people inside Razorback Stadium. And new Hog gear tends to be expensive, so there's that.

So I was online last night and saw some folks on Twitter discussing vintage sports clothes, and I decided to do something I do once in a blue moon: Go to eBay and do a quick search for "Vintage Razorback". The results were so much fun I decided to share some of the highlights with all of you.

The first listing was this amazing Razorback toilet paper. Even more remarkable than the toilet paper itself is the item description: "...gonna wipe the SEC out this year!!!!!!" That is grade A copywriting. Serious Mad Men skills. I say whoever buys it should take it down to Auburn this year and if Arkansas wins, roll the oak trees in Hog paper. Become a legend.

Next we have this Longhorn Prayer T-shirt. The description says it's from the 80's. I like to think this was made up during the time when Arkansas was leaving the SWC. Any time you get a picture of a beat up Longhorn crying and begging for mercy, you've got a winner. If you can't read the print on the shirt, it says "Please God Don't Make Me Play Arkansas Again!" I think the shirt is great but the asking price of $32.95 is more than I'd pay for it.

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I'm not a fisherman but this is great. It's a hand-carved wooden fishing lure. I don't know that I'd ever actually use it. Seems like a great decorative piece though. I'm not sure that wooden pigs are known to attract fish anyway. I also like how it's set against a Heineken bottle in the picture down the page. Fine craftsmanship though.

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Going through this list is also educational. For instance, did you know there was a Belgian movie called "Razorback" featuring a movie poster with a really freaking awesome looking Razorback on it? I didn't. Seems like this poster could easily find a home in a dorm room in Fayetteville, or used as prime photoshop material. Also, one of the lead actors in the movie is named "Arkie" so it's basically destiny.

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You'll find all sorts of shirts. There are usually a bunch of things from the awful period in the 90s when all designs were big bawdy shapes and lines that really make no geometric sense. This shirt is one of my favorites of that style. The "Arkansas" is on a ribbon like a tatoo or something. The "Razorbacks" is curved so poorly they couldn't fit the entire word on the front. Then it looks like leaping Hog explodes out of nowhere. Awesome!

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No one should ever wear this but someone will. It's had 3 offers as of this writing. And someone will pay about $50 for it. So sad. Just know, if I see you walking around at a football game this fall, I'll secretly snap a phone pic and make fun of you on twitter.

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Here's a t-shirt to make us all proud. Sigh.

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Awwww, yeeeeahh. Notice the reversed jeans? This is a straight Kris-Kross inspired Razorback! These Hogs will make ya...JUMP JUMP! Sorry, had to. I might end up in a bidding war with Chris Bahn for this.

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I like this sweatshirt. I'm a big proponent of remembering our SWC titles, something I believe the current athletic administration has dropped the ball on. Help remind everyone.

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You may think this graphic is cheezy, but I'd argue it's still more intimidating than the Razorback graphic that crushes the opponent helmet on the scoreboard at home games.

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I can't decide what I think of this hat. The more I think about it, the more I think it's actually in style right now. Of course, that might also mean it's the type of thing that would make my wife collapse in laughter on sight. The Hog on it looks kind of poorly imbroidered, like you could easily pull it off, but I could be wrong.

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Of course, there's all sorts of collective glassware and beer cans. I won't vouch for the taste though. All the grime in the plastic wrap sure is appealing. Only two reasons to drink that beer: you ran out of beer at the tailgate due to poor planning, or the Hogs just suffered a horrible defeat and you don't care anymore.

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That's a basic rundown. There's plenty more shirts, hats, and most everything else. Looking for some 1994 national title stuff, it's probably there. Things gets added all the time so it's fun to check it out every now and then.

Doc Harper is a regular contributor to ArkansasSports360.com andArkansasExpats.com. You can email him at heydocharper@gmail.com and follow his thoughts and observations on Twitter @doc_harper.