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Hog Hatred: The Love For Hate

Hog Hatred: Reigniting the Love for Hate

BCG here. It has often been said that what worries people most about technology is the potential for cyberwarfare. But don’t tell that to SEC fans online, they’ve been at it for years.

Twitter is great. People use it to spread awareness for societal issues or to help raise money for someone in need of a life-saving surgery. I use it to argue over sports with middle-aged SEC fans. To each their own.

It’s always a certain type of fan too, they come out of the woodwork ready to fight. Every fanbase has them. They will have some generic handle like “@OleMissBob1972” or “@KnoxvilleNick98” and their avatar is either a picture they took 3 inches from their face or their team’s mascot. Their bio reads something like “Husband. Dad. Beer Drinker. Love Sports. Love God. Love My (insert SEC team)”.

This online onslaught between fanbases is starting to shift the tradition of old rivals. Most hog fans were taught to hate Texas and LSU growing up. But if you ask a younger Hog fan who their least favorite SEC team is they will stop and think before answering. The days of answering “LSU” by habit are far gone.

Personally, I can think of 4 schools I hate more than LSU. I decided to rank them and explain my disdain in more detail.

4.) Mississippi State

Ahhhh, yes. The crazed, cowbell-ringing community that is Mississippi State. Are they trying to herd cattle? I’m surprised an entire drove of cows haven’t ran on the field during a game. Your mascot is a Bulldog (super original), so what are you doing with the cowbells? They need to take a look in the mirror and figure that out.

My hatred for Mississippi State has everything to do with their baseball program. Mississippi State is the only school that deserves to be in the discussion with Arkansas for best college-baseball atmosphere. As much as I hate them, I respect them. They love their college baseball just as much as we do and we both loathe Ole Miss.

If you gave me a map of Mississippi and told me to point to where Starkville is, I would hand you the map right back. I have no clue. It’s something I could easily google this second but it’s almost like I don’t want to know. I heard Starkvegas is nice but I have no desire to visit.

And yes, we know, Davis Wade stadium in the fourth oldest stadium in the nation. That’s just another way of saying, “our stadium sucks but it’s old so it’s automatically cool”.

It’s always good to have a rival where respect is mutual. It helps you appreciate the hatred even more.

3.) Texas A&M

The Southwest Classic basically created this. Having a yearly game at a neutral site where both fanbases are equally present is a great way to start a rivalry. Now mix in a few Cowboyritas and the fact it’s now a conference game and you have the perfect recipe.

I respect the troops but A&M needs to chill out when it comes to the milkman uniforms. Is a war going to break out mid-game on the field? Who are they even trying to protect themselves from? They look like a bunch of UPS drivers. I’ll never understand. But the uniforms do make it a bit easier to make fun of them as a whole.

And why are they always bragging about being the 12th man? Jesus’s disciples were the original 12th man. Is A&M plagiarizing the bible? Their obsession with wanting to be the only and original “12th Man” is borderline delusional. Not only do the Seahawks call their fans “The 12th Man”, so do the Bills. This disagreement over the nickname actually resulted in a lawsuit with Buffalo.

Just when you think the whole 12th man couldn’t get worse, it does. A&M received a lot of heat after threatening to sue double-amputee and cancer survivor, Chuckie Sonntag. Sonntag and his buddies created a website for their football fantasy league under the name 12thManThunder dot com, which A&M claimed violated its trademark.

This move was so bold even Keith Olbermann called the University’s then interim President, “The worst person in sports,”. That’s coming from Keith Freaking Olbermann, have you heard the guy call a baseball game? It’s like someone doing play-by-play at the DMV.

They are also super-spreaders of Covid-19. In the middle of the second wave and well before a vaccine was even close to being developed, A&M just casually lets in 55,000 people to a game. For a school that prides itself for its education that was the dumbest thing I have ever seen.

And they love to remind you about Johnny Manziel. Their fans all said he will be great in the NFL. As a Browns fan, I can certainly confirm he did not crush it in the NFL.

What the hell is an Aggie, anyway? Just a piece of land? So you guys are just chunks of earth, got it. And what is the dog for? If I have to see that border collie take the field one more time I will be the lead story on the evening news.

2.) Tennessee

The Volunteers have one thing going for them and that’s Rocky Top. You must admit that is one of the better traditions in college sports. Imagine upsetting a top 5 team at home and singing Rocky Top at the top of your lungs while absolutely hammered with 100,000 other fans. It’s just a great, catchy song.

I’ll admit, prior to this baseball season I didn’t consider Tennessee a rival. But after Tony “Ayye I’m coaching over here!” Vitello and DVH exchanged pleasantries following their conference series, I couldn’t stand them. Vitello wouldn’t be where he is without DVH, to disrespect him like that should be a war crime.

Tennessee fans probably didn’t even know they had a baseball team until this year. Their field is a complete joke, they basically have the dimensions of a little league field. During our conference series, the announcers on ESPN didn’t shut up about how “tremendous” Lindsey Nelson stadium is and how “wild” their sellout crowd of 3,000 fans were.

Buddy, I’ve been to funerals with more than 3,000 people.

I hate how they checker their sections with orange and white while playing a home football game. They can’t sell out a baseball game but they can get 100,000 people to color coordinate? Give me a break. Imagine being a grown ass man and checking your ticket to see if you need to wear white or orange.

Similar to Mississippi State, I have no clue what’s going on with their mascot situation. Are you Volunteers? Are you a bluetick coonhound? Are you a checker board? Figure it out already.

1.) Ole Miss

The only thing I hate more than the Pittsburgh Steelers is Ole Miss. Their fans, their players, their refusal to move on from the Civil War. All of it just makes my blood boil. Just thinking about the baseball team’s tik-toks makes me angry.

If I went to play college baseball and came back home with only tik-toks to show for it, my dad would have beat my ass. I know the word “cringeworthy” is overused but boy is that the only word that comes to mind. Talking like babies, biting their lips while looking directly into the camera. I mean it’s a free for all.

As for as their mascot situation, well it’s about as intact as the confederacy. It’s 2021 and they are still calling themselves The Rebels. Every fraternity and sorority house on their campus looks like a Plantation. They couldn’t be more oblivious to how racist that looks.

But wait, what is something that the university in a landlocked city could identify with most? A shark of course. But not just any shark, Tony The Shark “Aye I’m distracting you from our controversial mascot over here!” I bet you could sell out Lindsey Nelson stadium in Tennessee with all the mascots they brainstormed before landing on the shark.

I understand the Shark was made famous by an Ole Miss fan in 2008 holding a sign at a game. But it took a coked-up basketball player to bring it back. Marshall Henderson started using the fin celebration after he learned flipping off the opposing fanbase wasn’t allowed.

One year when the Hogs played in Oxford, I went to go visit my buddy who was a student there at the time. Worst weekend of my life. I was at a bar when a group of Razorback fans begin to call the Hogs. Naturally, I joined in. In the middle of the third “Wooooo” a drunken meathead came up to me and slapped my drink out of my hand, shattering the glass on the ground.

At the game someone threw an entire hotdog at me and I got mustard all over my shirt. When I say an entire hotdog, I mean the whole thing. It’s almost like they bought it with the purpose of throwing it. Once you get hit with a full hotdog and become mustard man, you know it’s time to go home.

As always, rankings are subject to change