clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Rasputin Offers His South Carolina Prediction. What's Yours?

New, 11 comments

predictions_crystal_ball_2

In anticipation of tomorrow's battle against South Carolina, we asked Rasputin, our staff soothsayer and a seemingly ageless Russian immigrant, to offer his prediction for the game. He had fallen into a deep depression caused by the lackluster effort at Vanderbilt and Marquel Wade's ensuing suspension, so it was hard to coax any information out of him, but finally Rasputin - who once engaged in a drunken brawl with noted Gamecocks fan Darius Rucker in a Myrtle Beach Hooters - offered the following prognostication:

"November dawns, and with it the Farmyard Brawl,
as the SEC's young rivals do battle amongst the leaves that fall.

Our dear Razorbacks have struggled as of late
and their top 10 ranking cannot hide a darker fate.

But for now Madame Fortune smiles and we are back on the Hill,
blessedly far from the unfriendly faces in Oxford and Nashville.

By game's end poor Tyler will be sore and frowny,
as he's battered by fearsome foes named Ingram and Clowney.

And I fear that our defense will once again falter
as if the Cocks were led by Paytons named Manning and Walter.

But wait! What's this? O, all is not lost!
It's Tyler Wilson rising from the ashes with three touchdowns just tossed!

For on this chilly evening our offense will come to play.
with Wright, Adams and Childs leading the way.

The game will be tight, our heads will be spinning,
but, ye gods, late in the 4th the home team will be winning.

The pig-emblazoned warriors of Arkansas - 27
The rooster-emblazoned warriors of South Carolina - 23."

Following that prediction Rasputin immediately lapsed into vodka-induced unconsciousness, so now it's your turn. Vote in the poll and share your own thoughts in the comments thread.