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Which Razorback Would Play Which Star Wars Character?

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We haven't seen The Force Awakens yet, so we're sticking to the characters from the older movies. And, no, we definitely don't have anything better to do.

Clemens Bilan/Getty Images

Emperor - Frank Broyles

broyles emperor

Responsible for everything. The architect of the empire, for better and for worse. Very effective at his job for a long time. Led for over a generation. Influence still very much felt today. Broyles, of course, is not known to have ever killed anybody, although safety standards in football were far more loose back in the day.

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader - Bobby Petrino

petrino vader

Incredible potential and for a short time, among the absolute best in the world. Tragic personality flaws led to anger, hate, suffering. And scars and braces. In the end, ruined everything for a long time.

Han Solo - Nolan Richardson

han solo nolan

This is one of those instances where the pictures say everything better than I could write it.

Chewbacca - Bret Bielema

chewbacca bielema

Big. Loud. Surprisingly effective. Fan favorite. Appreciation for brute strength.

Lando Calrissian - Mike Anderson

mike anderson lando

Han's old friend. Flair for fashion.

Yoda - Houston Nutt

yoda houston nutt

The most quotable being in the universe. After failing at a high level, spending years in exile but retaining mythical status. And because I really want to see who's taking this seriously enough to be truly offended at these two being put together that they'll write me a horrible email.

Obi-Wan Kenobi - Jeff Long

jeff long ben kenobi

After years of leading troubled prodigy, was reluctantly forced into battle and pretty much destroyed him. Spent a long period of time waiting to find the new hope, and worked as his mentor.

Luke Skywalker - Dave Van Horn

luke skywalker van horn

Synonymous with being really good. Handy with stick-shaped weapons. Association with extremely flat, near-desolate landscapes (Tatooine/Omaha).

Darth Maul - John Pelphrey

pelphrey darth maul

Distinctive red features. Looked to be highly successful at first but ended up failing to achieve much. Era not remembered fondly.

C-3PO - Lou Holtz

c3po lou holtz

Simultaneously loved and hated. Just as able to say something hilarious and wise as to say something aggravating. May have had mind wiped on a few occasions.

Jar Jar Binks - John L. Smith

jar jar john l

Everyone just wants them to go away.

*We were kind of stumped on who to put with Leia since we're sticking to coaches and administrators here. The Hogs have had several great female athletes, but few coaches whom it would be fair to associate with Leia. Hopefully, that will change soon. As a result, we gave Leia the headline photo for the piece.