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Reasons to Hate: Alabama

As a public service to you, the Hog fan, we provide a handy pre-game cheat sheet detailing why you should hate each one of the Razorbacks' opponents. Some weeks will be easier than others...

1. They Put the A in Arrogant. Not only does the typical Alabama fan demand expect the Crimson Tide to (literally) win every game between now and the end of time, they feel as if their opponents should consider themselves lucky to have the honor of setting foot on the same field as their beloved heroes.

We'll grant that there are a few rare exceptions to this attitude, but scan through the comments on most blog posts or newspaper articles about the Tide and you'll quickly notice that most of their fans can't even begin to conceive of any scenario in which their team could lose to the Hogs. It's intellectually impossible for them to consider it. (Of course, this may also be due to the fact that Bama fans aren't known for their intellects.)

2. 2007, 2008 and 2009. True fact: this humble blog was founded in the summer of 2007, and during that time we have never been fortunate enough to report on an Arkansas victory over the Tide. During that time the Hogs have managed to lose one heartbreaker and two humiliating blowouts. Feels like we're due, does it not?

3. Their 1964 "National Championship". You'd think a team that has won as many titles as the Crimson Tide wouldn't need to claim disputed ones as well. Yet, here they are, proudly claiming the 1964 championship when they clearly lost their bowl game that year (and the undefeated Hogs did not). Save some table scraps for the rest of us! Oh, by the way, in the time it took us to write this post the Alabama PR department just claimed national titles for the 1902, 1917, 1989, 1997 and 2006 seasons.

4. Bear Bryant. Yes, he won a lot of games. Yes, we're sick of hearing about him. Yes, our great-great-grandchildren will likely be sick of hearing about him as well.

5. Daniel Moore. Nothing captures the essence of Alabama more perfectly than the fact that they essentially have their own artist-in-residence to memorialize every episode in their most glorious history with a slightly cheesy oil painting. We hear the one he did of Nick Saban's morning crap last week was especially lovely.

6. The Cowboy! When words fail, we go straight to video:

And, after the jump, we've shared one reason to like Alabama:

Nah, we were just kidding - there aren't any reasons to like the Crimson Tide. Go Hogs!