Not a moment too soon, here is our staff soothsayer Rasputin's forecast for the 2010 Razorback football season. A Russian immigrant who claims to be hundreds of years old and who sleeps every night in a chamber of pure oxygen, Rasputin (that's him in the picture above) has been a rabid Razorbacks football fan since the program's debut in 1894 under head coach John C. Futrall.
The forecast below was produced after months of fasting, meditating, drinking weapons-grade vodka, consuming peyote and examining animal entrails in disturbingly detailed fashion. We were going to have ole Raz write up his predictions but unfortunately, he overdid the vodka and peyote consumption. Fortunately, one of our staff interns is an expert at deciphering and translating his intoxicated ramblings. After the jump are Rasputin's predictions as translated by that poor intern:
Tennessee Tech (9/4): After a long offseason, the Hogs come out of the gate ready to play. The defense is particularly excited to not be facing the Arkansas offense and responds with a big game. Arkansas, 49-10.
Louisiana-Monroe (9/11): Another successful tuneup for the upcoming conference battles. The Razorbacks win comfortably without dipping too deep into Petrino's bag of tricks. Arkansas, 41-14.
@Georgia (9/18): All our offseason worries come to fruition as a few key defensive lapses and special teams breakdowns prove too much to overcome on the road. Georgia, 42-34.
Alabama (9/25): The loss to the Dawgs takes a little luster off the hype for this game, but the final result is just as sweet. In an epic battle, Mallett & Co rise to the occasion and deal the Tide their first regular season loss since 2007. Arkansas, 28-27.
@Texas A&M (10/9): The game is closer than last year's rout, but the Hogs still manage to give the Aggies an unpleasant taste of their future in the SEC. Arkansas, 38-28
@Auburn (10/16): The third time's the charm for Gus Malzahn, as he finally exacts revenge on the Razorbacks in a shootout on the Plains. Auburn, 45-38.
Ole Miss (10/23): Some typically Nutty hi-jinks cause multiple heart attacks across the Natural State as the Rebels lead for much of the game, but the Hogs rally late in the 4th quarter to pull out the much-needed victory. Arkansas, 27-24.
Vanderbilt (10/30): Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Arkansas, 45-14.
@South Carolina (11/6): The Law of Averages demands that the Gamecocks will eventually make it through November without collapsing. Unfortunately for the Hogs, this is that year, as they play sloppy and once again go down on the road. South Carolina, 30-20.
UTEP (11/13): The Razorbacks take out their frustration from the previous week's debacle and bury the Miners. Arkansas, 52-17.
@Mississippi State (11/20): It's an ugly game, but at this point no one is complaining about a conference road win. Arkansas, 24-22.
LSU (11/27): The Hogs reclaim the Boot and manage to deal Les "Ar-KANsas" Miles a tough loss in what turns out to be his final regular season game at LSU. Arkansas, 34-21.
Add it all up, and Rasputin is predicting a 9-3 regular-season record. His crystal ball got a little cloudy when it came time to foresee exactly which bowl game the Hogs will appear in, but Rasputin is predicting that the Razorbacks will notch their second consecutive post-season victory. And starting tomorrow, Rasputin will appear on the blog each Friday to offer his prediction for that weekend's game, which may change due to injuries and/or other circumstances.
So, what are your thoughts on Rasputin's prognostications?