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Rasputin Unveils His Louisiana-Monroe Game Prediction. What's Yours?


In anticipation of tomorrow 's battle against Louisiana-Monroe, we asked Rasputin, our staff soothsayer, to offer his prediction for the game. A Russian immigrant who claims to be hundreds of years old, Rasputin - who sleeps each night in a chamber of pure oxygen and who once had a torrid love affair with Debra Winger - has been a rabid Razorbacks football fan since the program's debut in 1894. His prediction is after the jump:

"I shall not soon forget the wicked evening of September the 6th, in the year of our lord two-thousand and eight: The spirited warriors of Arkansas found themselves in a most wretched situation, down by many points to the evil spirits of Louisiana-Monroe.

Oh, the deepest, darkest pits of despair and depression - with the aid of my beloved Russian libations, into those pits I did plunge. But suddenly, when all seemed lost, the pig-emblazoned warriors pulled me back from the abyss by entering the zone that marks the end of the field with mere seconds to spare. And then - oh how I did commune with dear Dionysus!

There shall be no yin and yang tomorrow in la petite roche. The spirited warriors of Arkansas will visit the field-ending zone early. They will visit it numerous times. And they will render the invaders from the south utterly helpless. Arkansas 42, ULM 7"

Well, we've heard from Rasputin. Now let's hear from you: