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Cry Me a Crimson River


So, it seems that the defending champs aren't too happy about the way their schedule stacks up for next year. They play six teams coming off bye weeks, which definitely sucks (although you'd think Nick Saban could get some sort of software upgrade that allows his cyborg programming to adjust to such matters).

But, they also want other teams, including the Hogs, to potentially move their schedules around to accommodate a change. Jeff Long is saying no at the moment, but we'll see if that holds up. After all, we're just Arkansas and they're Alabama. Anything they want, right?

While we're at it, the SEC might as well make a few other last minute rule changes to make the Crimson Tide feel more comfortable:

* opposing teams' first scores of each game will be deemed "just for practice" and won't count on the scoreboard.

* Alabama will be able to reschedule any game it chooses if Greg McIlroy wakes up that Saturday morning and "isn't feeling all that into it".

* opposing student sections required to wear houndstooth hats at all times.

* Nick Saban is to be given a full copy of each opponent's offensive playbook no fewer than 21 days before the game.

* mandatory Bear Bryant back tattoos.