In anticipation of tomorrow's battle against South Carolina, we asked Rasputin, our staff soothsayer and a seemingly ageless Russian immigrant, to offer his prediction for the game. Rasputin - who's rumored to have helped Daniel Ellsberg prepare the Pentagon Papers for release to the press - has been a rabid Razorback football fan since the program's debut in 1894.
His forecast is after the jump:
"Oh, this Razorback fan's heart,
What a moody thing it doth be.
One week it cries out in pain,
The next, it is full of glee!
But torturous visions have kept me up the last few nights,
I sense that heartbreak awaits beneath the Williams-Brice lights.
Our offense - it shall prove willing and able,
but Sir Lattimore will have my fists pounding the table!
The game shall be prove close and will long be in doubt,
The outcome however shall lead me to weep and to pout.
The pig-emblazoned warriors of Arkansas - 35,
The mighty and most honorable warriors of South Carolina - 38."
Believe us, it truly pains Raz to make that prediction. Moments after delivering it he began consuming a mind-boggling amount of cheap, heinous Russian vodka and sobbing uncontrollably. He's a deeply sensitive and troubled man.
That's enough from him. Let's hear from you. And after you vote, be sure to pipe up in the comments thread.