In anticipation of tomorrow night's battle against Georgia, we decided to consult Rasputin, our staff soothsayer, to get his forecast for the game. A Russian immigrant who claims to be hundreds of years old and who sleeps every night in a chamber of pure oxygen, Rasputin has been a rabid Razorbacks football fan since the program's debut in 1894 under head coach John C. Futrall.
Therefore, it brings him no pleasure to make the prediction below. Make no mistake: no one hopes Rasputin is wrong more than Rapsutin himself. Armed with several cases of high-octane Russian vodka, he will be parked in front of the TV set tomorrow, madly cheering on the Hogs.
But as a registered soothsayer, he is bound by a strict code of ethics and cannot lie about the vision produced by days of chanting, praying, consuming peyote and examining animal entrails (quick aside: anyone know a lawyer who specializes in defending against PETA lawsuits?). Here is his prognostication:
"Offense, offense - I foresee the spirited warriors of Arkansas producing plenty of offense. But of the Razorbacks' prowess on defense and special teams, of this I remain skeptical. The pig-emblazoned warriors shall carry a slim lead for much of the game, causing great excitement and anticipation among those who shower affection on the Hogs.
Alas, alas - the night shall end in heartache, as the mighty warriors of Georgia exploit a spirited but inadequate Arkansas defense for a last-minute journey into the zone that marks the end of the field. The mighty warriors of Georgia - 38, the mighty warriors of Arkansas - 35."
Well, we've heard from Rasputin. Let's hear from you: