Missouri has announced that the 2020 rendition of The Battle Line Rivalry Presented By Shelter Insurance® will be taking place in Arrowhead Stadium. The fools…
Attendance in Columbia has been bad in recent years during the Arkansas game, despite each game featuring in the prestigious The Battle Line Rivalry Presented By Shelter Insurance®. Consequently, in an attempt to get more butts in seats, Mizzou pulled the trigger and moved the game to Kansas City. What they fail to realize is that in this ploy to sell out the game, they have given Arkansas fans the ultimate power: a reasonably close away game. Yes, dear reader, Mizzou has ceded precious territory, and now thousands of our swine brethren can migrate to the greater Kansas City area to overwhelm the seven Mizzou fans who will be in attendance.
You see, in their arrogance, Mizzou has allowedThe Battle Line Rivalry Presented By Shelter Insurance® to be played in Kansas City, a city whose name includes the name of their greatest non-The Battle Line Rivalry Presented By Shelter Insurance® rivals. Consequently, I anticipate two things to occur:
1. People who hate Mizzou will be in attendance in droves.
2. People who love Mizzou will not, because they don’t even go when it’s at Mizzou.
These two truths present us with a mission of the utmost importance:
We must break the record that Arrowhead Stadium already holds. We must be louder than any crowd in football history.
According to The Guinness Book of World Records, Arrowhead reached a volume of 142.2 decibels during a 2014 visit from the Patriots. I know Hog fans can do better than that. The loudest crowd noises I’ve ever heard as a Razorback fan were the cheers in response to Ronnie Wingo Jr.’s famous wheel route against Alabama in 2010, and in response to Deatrich Wise’s sack of Johnny Manziel in 2013. Perhaps a shot at bowl eligibility after years of suffering will cause the crowd to break that record.
In short, I’m calling on you Hog fans. One year from this Black Friday, load up your cars, buses, and Winnebago’s, and make the dangerous drive along the Battle Line®.
Be loud, break records, and cement Arkansas as truly the greatest fan base in the storied The Battle Line Rivalry Presented By Shelter Insurance®.