Welcome to the 2nd edition of our annual "Rivalry" (I'm just going to call this one a finale every year, I'm gonna need more time for a rivalry) with the University of Missouri. It's just going to take awhile.
On an aside, the turmoil that has taken place on Missouri's campus this season, has been troublesome for many in college football. I don't really have it in me to make any fun of it, and I'm not sure there's anything funny to be had. I hope that students and athletes at the University of Missouri will work with the faculty to create a campus environment where everyone can feel comfortable.
Alright, it's hate week, and these guys are 5-6. The best way to show your hate is to keep them out of a bowl, and that's what we can do this week. Let's Go!
1) The Trophy. I know David Bazzell was listed as the designer, so we can't blame them for it. But, screw it, let's blame them for it. It's a cheaper-looking boot, appropriate for how most Arkansas fans feel about replacing LSU with Missouri on the end of the schedule. [Editor's Note: Let's go with an unofficial "Huck Finn's Raft" trophy! Much better]
2) Thanksgiving. Arkansas fans will probably always be dismissive of this "rivalry." I actually don't want to be those types of fans. I hate the way LSU dismissed our rivalry as "not a real rivalry". Let it happen organically. The way everything went down, we're now upset we don't get to play LSU in the traditional slot, and now we're going to act the same way as LSU treated us. Ugh. I may never be able to stop talking about this. No Thanks! Wait, Missouri fans also dismiss this? They don't think we're good enough for them? SCREW YOU MIZZOU
3) Tigers. (I'm going to type this up generic so that I can use it for every Tiger Mascot). [Insert School Here] adopted the Tiger mascot based on the famous [quote name of militia, regiment, battalion, squadron, etc.] from [insert name of war, battle, skirmish]. They [have/don't have] a live tiger mascot. Their costumed Mascot is named [use quotations and name the mascot here]. The student body voted on this dumb name in [insert year], based on [very poor creativity, named after some football term, the school President's wife's sister's daughter thought it was really cute, or they named it after a famous person from the state (In this case it's Harry Truman.... okay I kinda like that)]. I mean if you're going to have a tiger mascot, with those colors? Crazy. (In this case, Missouri actually has tiger colors...) [Insert reference to some comment from a previous joke]
4) This REALLY is the best.
5) Gold Border. Listen if we're gonna keep going with the MIMAL based trophies, let's at least make sure the one we split with Missouri has the red border and not the gold or yellow or whatever the color is. I like the Golden Boot. Arkansas is perpetually on top, regardless of the game's winner. Next time we make a trophy, let's not put ourselves on the bottom. We can't fix that now, but it's time to go on top. We haven't had the greatest run in recent history with the Tigers, so let's make this a good season finale. Let's make this a good Senior Night for Brandon Allen. Let's win this weirdo trophy.