She lead them on and got their hopes up only the go home with someone else, again.
Except this time she actually stumbled out of the bar with someone better looking. The Hogs are not that bad looking, but the competition out here is fierce. The good news, they'll break out of their slump at some point. The bad news, it may not be any time soon.
After some close calls, the Hogs had all their friends talking them up. This was going to be their night. Except, it wasn't their night at all. They started their night off with a nice Vegas bomb to get their blood pumping. Sure, they spilled a little on their shirt in the process, but it wasn't the end of the world.
The next thing the Hogs knew, they'd slipped and fell on the wet floor at a bar where the shot glasses are made of ice and thrown on the floor. There was no recovering. With their clothes covered in the muck that is that floor, they knew their best option was just to double fist tall boys in the corner of a bar on West avenue till last call. It's a respectable way to spend your night, just like the final score of 45-32 to a top ten team.
That was the kind of night it was for Arkansas. They never really had a chance. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Thank goodness someone showed pity on them and paid for those tall boys so they didn't have to remember that first half.
I'm just glad I wasn't one of the friends that pumped false hope into them. I had it 31-30 Georgia in the office pool, but even in my pessimism, I couldn't have imagined it going that badly for the Hogs. If you want to know why Arkansas lost, check out Adam Ford's awesome column from yesterday.
For counseling, I'm here for you. Hopefully, this taught you a lesson. Don't bet the Hogs are going to win a SEC game until after they've actually won a SEC game.
You see, my expectations were so low for this team (I had them 4-8 (1-7)) that I'm not even that disappointed. With that win over Texas Tech, they are going to match my win total. IF they beat LSU at home or Mizzou on the road, they will have already passed my expectations. So, how can I get mad at their performance when that was what exactly how I expected that game to go back in August?
My advice to you: don't get caught up in the "what ifs," "moral victories," and (my personal favorite) the "I remember whens."
Is this a sad way to look at it? Yes, hell yes. But, it is the sane way to look at it. I know fandom is the least sane thing we do in western society. However, Dr. Ryan is here to tell you that if you want to keep your sanity while cheering for a team on a 16 game conference losing streak, don't force the hope of a victory. Just let it happen and enjoy it when it does.