I went to a wedding about a year ago in which the Razorback bride married a Georgia Bulldog groom. As devoted fans of their respective schools, they thought it would be cute to, as a sign of holy unity, do the other's signature cheer as part of the ceremony. You may have been to a similar type of wedding or similar ceremony yourself, and if you have, you know that whenever a person tries to do the cheer of another school, it's always awkward, uncoordinated, and usually half-hearted. Like when you visit a country that speaks a language you're not fluent in and you try to engage in conversation. "Um, bon..jour, right?" It never works.
Texas A&M is very excited about joining the SEC. So excited, they forced a group of students to do a signature cheer of another SEC school. One by one by one by one. Look, this should never ever ever happen. No self respecting Arkansas fan will ever yell "Geaux Tigers!" No Georgia fan will do the Gator Chomp. No Auburn fan will yell "Roll Tide". And nobody should ever sing "Rocky Top" (thankfully, they spared us that atrocity and simply went with "Go Vols!")
Dear God. Oh, you thought just watching all 13 of the other cheers was painful? Well the good folks in College Station didn't stop there. They made the entire second half of the video outtakes of the poor kids that were undoubtedly forced into this situation. Not that doing a Gator Chomp should really be that hard for a fan of a school that makes the students learn like 5,382 cheers and hand movements. Anyway, this goes in the bin with a couple other painful videos made by the new SEC members over the last year. It makes you wonder if this is some sort of requirement the schools had to agree to in order to be in the conference. See other painfully awful videos after the jump.
A&M, you're in the SEC now. You don't have to pretend to be nice to everyone else. The entire SEC can't wait to beat you.
The worst thing about this video is that it was actually made by the school. The worst/best school-made video this beats out is "Party at the UGA" from 2010. "I hear the meal plan's amazing!"
I really thought the worst A&M would do would be "Aggie Swag." This wasn't made by the school, but it proved how cringe-worthy A&M folks could go.
But that's still not my favorite. The best comes from Arkansas' new permanent rivals north of the wall. This came out in January, and I'm proud to say I have it bookmarked. This is "We Are Mizzou"
I have to admit, I think it's cool that they named their group "Fifth Down". But it doesn't make up for the video. If you know of any more videos, send them my way. Even if they're Arkansas videos. I'll post them.
Doc Harper is a regular contributor to ArkansasSports360.com and ArkansasExpats.com. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow his thoughts and observations on Twitter @doc_harper.