clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Rasputin Unveils His Prediction for the Troy Game. What's Yours?

New, 5 comments

predictions_crystal_ball_2

In anticipation of tomorrow's contest against Troy, we asked Rasputin, our staff soothsayer and a seemingly ageless Russian immigrant, to offer his forecast for the game. Rasputin, who before last week's game delivered a prediction that was both heartbreaking and dead-on accurate, has been a rabid Razorback football fan since the program's debut in 1894. Sadly, his amazing accuracy did nothing to soothe his troubled soul. In need of a little centering, he traveled to perhaps his favorite spot on Earth: Stonehenge. After a few day's worth of chanting, fasting and yoga at that ancient marvel, he emailed us the following forecast:

"The stars are ablaze on this gentle English night,
I see ghosts all around and yet I do not fright.

The faces of dead friends and lovers, they swayeth to and fro,
I drop to my knees and cry, 'Why did you have to go?'

My soul feels crushed, my heart is drenched in pain,

I'm too numb to even notice the quick English rain.

And then he doth appear - a sudden and wonderful sight,
Why, it's impish old Francis
- always an utter delight!

'Despair not, ole Raz, that you are among the living,
To watch these Hogs, there is much that ole Franz' would be giving!'

He always made me laugh and this night, it 'twas the same,
Merrily, I head home - to watch the Razorback game!

The mighty, pig-emblazoned warriors of Arkansas - 44,
the most honorable warriors of Troy - 17."

It's good to Raz's depression lift. Our house doctor had been feeding him B vitamins and Omega-3 fatty acids to no avail.

Well, enough from our Russian soothsayer. Let's hear from you. Vote in the poll below and pipe up in the comments thread.