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ARMOgeddon Chapters I through III

Chapter I

And Lo, it came to pass in the days when moneychangers and confidence men inhabited the Temple of Football that there was a great thundering in the Heavens of the SEC Network.

The voice of Saint Tebow called unto me "Come and see" and I saw. The Lord Mike Slive appeared carrying seven seals.

Lord Slive broke the first seal calling forth the Tribes of Aggieland and Mizzou to join the 12 Tribes of SECgypt. There was much rending of garments and girding of loins.

Lord Slive was most pleased but knew his tribes needed to test themselves in the fires of competition. The best against the best in tribal games.

Lo, Lord Slive broke the second seal and an angel named Finebaum appeared to announce the rivalries of this new era.

Chapter II

Lo, a third voice echoed amongst the Heavens, that of the mischievous Imp Vern. "What rough Hog, it's quarter come round at last, runs the dang ball toward Fayetteville, to be born?"

And it came that in the days when the Tygers of Mizzou had prevailed over the iniquities of evil Volunteers, that they were confronted on their path to the Holy Land of Altanta by the rough Hog.

Chapter III

And a final voice called from amidst the great pit, the demon Jesse Palmer called "I shall loose my seven-Berted coach and the whore of Twitterlon for a little season".

And a great beast, bulk of the pit, arose. Seven heads and two running backs. And upon him rode the woman, calling "#KARMA".

And the Holy CBS Spirit saw what had happened, and it was good.

The End.

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