Q&A With Good Bull Hunting - Texas A&M Preview with the Aggie Bloggers

Ronald Martinez

Trying to understand Texas A&M a little bit better.

Alabama Moral Victory or T-Sip Meltdown Schadenfreude?  Which t-shirt are Ags more ready to print right now?

Camacho: Both. We love making crazy t-shirts.

ColoradoAg: I’m currently wearing understated Alabama Moral Victory boxer briefs and a Mack Brown Meltdown moomoo. Look, the best jokes are hastily printed onto t-shirts and worn with pride until said joke is beaten far beyond death and laughter.

Manziel is maddeningly good when the pocket breaks down, but honestly, how many more times can Mike Evans save his ass?  Do y'all just expect him to catch everything JFF heaves up at this point?

Camacho: Yes.

ColoradoAg: I’ll channel William J. Clinton and answer your question with a question – how can a defense expect to defend anything JFF heaves up at this point? I think I've made my point.

Von Miller has been busy tarnishing what was up until recently a pretty good reputation.  Are there any rumored skeletons in his closet from his days in College Station, or are A&M fans just as surprised as the rest of us?  Also, the phrase "urine collector" has up to this point always been associated with Starkville.  Please do not screw up our jargon.

ColoradoAg: As a Colorado native, Aggie, and Bronco fan, I’ve been very surprised. For one, he is now a Denver resident and can’t even enjoy the state’s cash crop. Two, he never really had any trouble while he was in College Station. He needs to either grow up or be smarter about his use. Thrice, as bloggers, aren't we all urine collectors at least metaphorically?

The Aggies definitely have an innovative offense bordering on unstoppable, but a Wrecking Crew their defense ain't.  I know that GBH is a step ahead of the crowd and has already come up with some good nicknames.  Can you give us a few of your best prospects?

Camacho: Some of my favorite spinoff names for our offense over the years: 2001--Punting Crew; 2003--Fumbling Crew; 2005--Holding Crew; 2011--Snoozing Crew. After all of those, I don't know what to call what we have now, but I'm grateful.

ColoradoAg: For the 2013 defense? Dawdling Crew, Cuddling Crew, J. Crew, Wandering Crew, Punch-Drunking Crew, Giving Crew… Go wild in the comments.

What do you think about 11 more years in Jerry World starting in 2014?  The benefits for Arkansas are pretty obvious, but what does A&M ostensibly get out of it?

Camacho: Terrible. Went there for the Cotton Bowl in January and it is everything college football shouldn't be. I would rather do home-and-homes and go to Fayetteville every other year.

ColoradoAg: I hate it. I really like Fayetteville and think I would have loved going to college there. I wish we were able to play in your fair burgh every other year. Instead, we get to look forward to a soulless, plasticky, contrived football experience. There is absolutely nothing about Jerryworld that resembles football culture – particularly college football. It’s a shrine to a plastic-faced narcissist billionaire who bilked foolish taxpayers into subsidizing said shrine. It’s the hallmark of tacky excess. It’s a bio-dome for foreclosed McMansion Millionaires who get more fulfillment telling people they went to the Cowboys game than the actual football itself. The shrine is cavernous, quiet, and boasts a wildly unnecessary television that screams Truck Nutz on a leased Escalade. Oh, and Jerryworld is in Arlington where "tradition" and "culture" is ordering Grilled Chicken Wonton Tacos at the Applebee’s by Six Flags. There is no bar or restaurant within a 25 minute drive of that stadium that is worthwhile. Plus, y’all always beat us at Jerryworld.

How long do rational Texas A&M fans expect to keep Sumlin before he moves on to the NFL?

Camacho: Trick question. There are no rational A&M fans.

ColoradoAg: What’s an NFL?

Tell us something that could happen Saturday night that would completely surprise Razorback fans, while be completely unsurprising to Aggies.

Camacho: We could completely eschew any attempts at kicking extra points and just go for 2 every time we score a touchdown.

ColoradoAg: The Ags have some damn good running backs that are either underused or overshadowed too often. Keep an eye on them.

So, seriously, y'all think chewing on some tired, overdone brisket is superior to the sweet succulence of proper pulled pork?  Has to be one massive troll job, am I right?  Like, a better troll job than Dennis Franchione?

Camacho: Sounds like you're cooking your brisket wrong.

ColoradoAg: I extend an olive branch to any properly prepared barbecue. I love it all. Camacho is right though. Too many "barbecue specialists" hammerfuck their brisket into oblivion and should be jailed properly.

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Thanks to Dr. Norris and ColoradoAg for their time. Much appreciated.

Trent Wooldridge will be that guy with enough bourbon. He loves the S-E-C chant and honks because he hates Texas. He puts honey on his pizza, demands aisle seats, and sees quitting golf as more of a hobby than actually playing golf. Follow @twooldridge and track his quest to transform his three-year-old into a southpaw ace in the bigs.


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