Here is the third part of our recent interview with comedian/actor Matt Besser, a Little Rock native and rabid Hog fan (here's part 1 and here's part 2). In today's installment, Matt reveals why the Denver Broncos are his least favorite NFL team and muses on why Houston Nutt would make a good road trip companion.
Expats: Jumping back to football, you seemed to take a lot of glee in ragging on Tim Tebow last year -
Besser: I can't stand Tebow.
Expats: Now that he's out of the SEC, who are you focusing your rage towards?
Besser: I don't think I've ever, especially on the college level, had a guy - maybe Billy Sims, that's going back a while - I just don't like people who push their religion on people. That's one of my biggest bugaboos.
I've never seen a college guy do that like he did it. That whole thing of putting Bible verses under your eyes. Crazy, crazy obnoxious.
And then when he went in the first round, I screamed. I was like, "Nooo! You gotta be kidding me!" Now Denver is my least favorite pro team. Get rid of Peyton and take Tebow - you're not a friend of mine.
Expats: When we talked last time, you mentioned your very understandable dislike of USC. Do you see them as more hateable, less hateable or just as hateable with Lane Kiffin onboard?
Besser: He's such a perfect villainous coach for USC. What a great fit. Definitely more hateable. Pete Carroll, at least - I don't know, he seemed like a wise coach.
They are like The Empire. They're always good. They're in L.A. There's everything to hate about ‘em. And [Kiffin] too. He's perfect for them.
Expats: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate defensive coordinator Willy Robinson's mustache?
Besser: (Laughs) I don't know if I've ever focused on it. Is it unusual?
Expats: It's just a very full, healthy ‘stache.
Besser: I'm going to have to get back to you on that one.
Expats: Crystal ball time: What do you think the final record for this year's football team is going to be?
Besser: What do we play - 12 games? 12-0.
Expats: Alright! Love it.
Besser: Every Razorback should be thinking that this is the year. Years like this don't come around. This is the year.
Expats: I think Petrino should get you to give some kind of pre-game speech.
Besser: Well, first I have to get to the level where the players know who I am and care what I have to say.
Expats: That's what this interview is all about.
Besser: There you go. I definitely do want to get to a Will Ferrell-level, so, like USC does to him, I get invited down on the sideline. That's the ultimate goal.
Expats: Last summer, we ranked the SEC football coaches on who would be the most fun to take a cross-country road trip with. Who do you think would be the most and least fun to travel cross-country with? And this is important: You can't talk about football. That's the twist.
Besser: That's a good stipulation. I don't think Petrino sounds like much fun. That's probably why I like him.
Expats: We ranked him in the middle because of that. Once you take out football, it doesn't seem like he'd have much to say to you.
Besser: Let me think. That's a good one.
Urban Meyer would be talking about his family too much. I don't want to hear that.
Houston Nutt seems like a partier. He'd know all the ladies, all the hot reporters, in each town to look up.
Les Miles seems like a wet blanket too. Steve Spurrier probably parties a little bit.
I'm going to have to go with Houston Nutt.
(Tomorrow: Which former Hog does Matt compare Amy Poehler to? And who might Will Ferrell play in a movie about the Razorbacks? While you're pondering those questions, be sure to read parts 1 and 2 of our Besser Q&A.)