"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop twistin' my arm, I already love you." Yes I am channeling Barrence Whitfield after last week's painful reliance on an "Operative Rule." Do that and you somehow decide KU has a chance against Tech. And that a super hot Penn State will be stopped by the Buckeyes. When I ignored the Operative Rule and went with my gut (Georgia), I won. No more of that.
I got creamed last week, hitting only four out of ten. I am simply contributing to the pocketbooks of Little Rock's professional class. Must stop the bleeding. This week, we start fresh. We seek progress. We seek hope. We avert our eyes as the Spread meets the ineptitude of the Hogs D. (Please, tell me Isaac Madison is losing his job to Jamar Love.)
My wife, being apprised of how much I am down on the year in Pick 10, had this to say: "So they let you post on the Expats blog, but you really don't know very much about football?" Ow Ow Ow Ow.
Here's this week's Pick 10. Confidence fails me. Except, sour mash confidence. I have a full Halloween schedule. And I've had a few Tennessee whiskeys. This could get interesting.
Auburn (+6) at Ole Miss: Wow. Ole Miss should destroy a weak Auburn team, right? Hmmm. Arkansas beat Auburn by 3, Ole Mis beat Arkansas by 2. That's only 5. I'm taking DOG. Eat me, Houston Dale.
Tulsa (-7) at Arkansas: This is hard. Really, the numbers say Malzahn's offense makes us look silly. But, let me reflect — the Hogs have covered for three weeks in a row, right? So, have the oddsmakers figured it out? Not yet. Plus, I'm a huge homer. DOG.
Kentucky (+3) at Miss State: Again, I am totally torn. These teams suck like Arkansas. But I am saying Kentucky, desperately making Randall Cobb their QB (is this the Wild Wildcat?) seems like a loser. Croom me, baby. FAVE.
Arkansas State Red Wolfie Things (+23) at Alabama: I really want to be a homer here. Really. Governor Beebe is an ASU guy. Bama really doesn't care. But dang, Alabama may be the best team in the country (gosh, I would like to see Texas v. Bama in the championship game. I pick Texas.) Ah. Bama 48-7. FAVE.
Georgia (+6) — neutral? — Florida: Okay, Jacksonville is so not a home game. I have been to Jacksonville. I ate at an Outback. I had a client who said he wanted his steak medium well. The swishy waiter said "So, I assume that will be Thousand Island, sir?" Lordy, this one is tough. If you can pick this one, you can pick the National Champ. As much as I hate Florida, I say FAVE.
Tennessee (+6) at South Carolina: You can't spell "Fulmer Out" without "UT." Still. I smell upset. DOG.
Pitt (+4.5) at Notre Dame: Even a blind minor saint sometimes finds an acorn. FAVE.
Florida St. (-2.5) at Ga Tech: FSU is, amazingly, underrated. DOG.
Texas (-4) at Texas Tech: Tough pick. The swashbucklin' Pirates are staying quiet and laying in wait for the Horns. Problem is, it is hard to figure out if Tech is for real. I know Texas is for real. I am queasy about it, but I have to go with the Horns. FAVE.
Oklahoma (-21.5) at Nebraska: Nebraska is having a very similar season to Arkansas, except I'm not sure the Huskers are improving. Playing Sam Bradford won't help. Still, that's a lot of points, and it may be time for the Huskers to scare someone. DOG.